


What happiness looks like

by GoodbyeStranger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Feelings, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, One Shot, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Set after a supposed season finale and happy ending, only subtly references events and things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27506989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeStranger/pseuds/GoodbyeStranger
Summary: “Cas. What you said, before you were dragged into the empty. Why? Why did you say that?”He wanted to add ‘when I couldn't even give you an answer’, or ‘when you were about to die’, but the words got stuck in his throat, too painful to say out loud.“It was what I had to do to get back to the Empty. I’m sorry. I-”.“No, I mean why did you have to say it then? Why didn’t you say anything before that? Why did you tell me that when you were dying?”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 150





	What happiness looks like

The fight was over and they had made it. And not just them. They had managed to save humanity, that annoying metaphorical damsel, who always happened to be in distress. Now they were back home, in the bunker, looking for a well deserved good night’s sleep. The world could wait. However, there were still some things that needed to be addressed.

“Cas. Um. You got a minute?” Dean called from his room, startling the angel, who was roaming the corridor.

“Sure.” Castiel entered the room, and Dean closed the door behind him.

“Sit down.” He invited Castiel to one of his chairs, and did so himself.

“I, uh- There’s something I needed to talk to you about.” 

Castiel’s expression sobered.

“Yes. I was expecting you would say that.”

“Yeah.” Dean paused. “So, first I-” He patted Castiel’s shoulder lightly. “I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you’re back.”

“Thank you, Dean. I’m also quite happy to be alive. That we all are.”

Dean nodded.

“Yeah, and, well, what you said before you were dragged into the empty-”

“Yes?” Cas stared at Dean, eyebrows furrowed.

Dean couldn’t help but get queasy. This whole situation was making him so, but he tried to regain his composure. 

“Man, you put me on some sort of pedestal where I-” He laughed nervously. “-where I sure don’t belong. All that talk about me changing you. Cas, I’m no better than anyone.”

“Dean, what are you talking about? You just literally saved humanity again.”

“Well. Someone had to do it. And we all did. Not just me: You, me, Sam, Jack… I’m not special.” Dean gestured, matter-of-factly.

“You are, Dean. Anyone would see it that way. I certainly see it that way.” 

Cas looked at him fondly, and Dean’s stomach flipped again. He swallowed. 

“Cas, what you said. Before you were dragged into the empty. Why? Why did you say that?” 

He wanted to add ‘when I couldn't even give you an answer’, or ‘when you were about to die’, but the words got stuck in his throat, too painful to say out loud.

“It was what I had to do to get back to the Empty. I’m sorry. I-”.

“No, I mean why did you have to say it then? Why didn’t you say anything before that? Why did you tell me that when you were dying?”

Cas dropped his gaze.

“I didn’t want it to destroy our friendship. I read that confessing romantic feelings creates that problem sometimes. I didn’t want to risk it.”

“You read-”

Dean huffed in disbelief, and started walking around the room. He wished the angel had said something earlier. Anything that could have saved him from experimenting grief and some life-shattering realisations at the same time.

“And then I made the deal with The Shadow, and I knew. I knew what I would never have, now I could never have.”

“Yeah, you said what you wanted was something you couldn’t have. Why?”

Cas was about to say something, but Dean spoke first.

“Listen, I don’t know what that is. I- You’re an angel. You’re...you.” His expression softened. “I don’t know exactly what it is that would make you happy but, Cas, I want that. I-”

Castiel gave him a sad smile, now standing next to him.

“See? You say that you’re not selfless and here you are-”

“No, Cas, let me finish.” Dean said, firmly, and looked at Cas in the eye. “I love you.” 

Castiel stared at him intently, like he most often did. Dean shook his head and closed his fists, focusing on what he wanted to say.

“You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’re part of my family. You say I’ve changed you? You have changed me! I love you. Hell, of course I do." He shook his head, because he should have realised that way before he did. "So, whatever you want. Whatever you want with me. Whatever that looks like, I want that.”

Something lit up in Castiel eyes and Dean swallowed again.

“I don’t know what true happiness looks like for me. I haven’t had much of a chance at it. But I’ve known for a while that I can’t have it without you, Cas.” 

Dean went silent, and Cas frowned, lost in thought.

“Should I get another vessel?”

“What? No! What- why?”

“Well, in the past you’ve shown a preference for women.” 

“I-” Dean blinked. “I guess I have. But I don’t want you to change for me. Not a thing.” He cleared his throat. “I assure you. I like the whole package.” 

Castiel smiled.

“So…” Dean rubbed his hands nervously. “What is it? Walks on the beach? Um. A white picket fence? We could start with dinner, maybe?”

“What?”

“What does your moment of true happiness look like?”

Dean looked at Castiel, taking all of him in. He was back. They both were.

Castiel smiled again and looked at him in the eye.

“I love you.”

Dean smiled back.

“Yeah, I thought we’d established that. I mean, this is great. You telling me you love me is great. I love it. I love you. But what is it that you thought you could not h-”

And before he could stop him, Castiel’s lips were in his. Not that Dean would have stopped him.

The kiss didn’t last long. Or it didn’t seem like it did. Suddenly there was space between them, and Cas’s arms weren’t around him anymore.

“So.” Dean managed to utter, his cheeks flushed. “That happened, huh?”

Castiel gave him a puzzled look.

“It did.”

“Yeah it did.” Dean gave Cas the broadest of smiles, which he mimicked. 

“Does that sound like something you’d like to, I don’t know, do again sometime?” Dean probed.

Cas nodded, so Dean cupped his face and kissed him again. This time enjoying every moment of it, condensing every feeling, every hope, all of his love and passion. His whole body tingled with excitement at the thought of this being what his future looked like.

Then there was a knock on the door. 

“Hey, Dean!” Asked Sam.

“Come on!” Dean muttered against Cas’s lips and, against his own wishes, he slowly separated himself from his angel. “I should get that.” He whispered, and Cas nodded.

Dean opened the door.

“Yeah?”

“We were thinking of getting some pizza. You know, to celebrate.”

“To celebrate what?” Said Dean, at a higher pitch. There was only one reason he could think of right now, and the thought of his brother knowing about it suddenly made him feel lightheaded.

“That the world isn’t ending?” Sam looked at him, and shook his head. “Anyway. Do you want any- Oh, hey Cas.”

“Hello, Sam.” Appearing behind Dean, Castiel gave Sam a little wave.

“So, yeah. Pizza. Are you in?”

Dean looked at Cas.

“We are.” Answered the angel.

“Should I just get the usual?” Sam looked at Dean.

“Yeah.” Dean smiled awkwardly.

Sam looked at Dean, then at Cas, then raised his eyebrows, amused.

“Okay. We’ll get to it.” Sam said, and left with a smile.

Dean closed the door behind him and turned to Cas.

“We're not hiding, are we?” The angel asked.

“No. NO.” Dean exhaled and pinched his nose. “I just need a moment. To process. Everything. And I don’t want my brother to find out we’re together by finding us smooching like freaking teenagers.”

“We’re together.” Castiel half stated, half asked.

“Aren’t we?” Dean slipped his hand to hold Cas’s. 

“Yeah.” Said Castiel, looking at their joined hands.

“Anyway, it’s been a rough day. We don’t have to tell them now. I mean, we can. We can tell them anytime.” Dean shrugged.

“Sure.”

Dean freed his hand to open the door, and gestured for Cas to walk through.

“Come on, let’s see if we can convince them to bring some cherry pie with that pizza.”

Castiel smiled.

“Let’s get some pie. Together."

******  
DAYS LATER

"You know what this means, right?" Sam asked.

Dean gave him a puzzled look.

"It means those Destiel girls who did the play called it- What was it? Ten years ago?"

"Oh, shut up!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading. 
> 
> I- this is the first fic I've actually finished, and it's not very polished, but I had to get it out of my system. I have been catching up with Supernatural since I found about THE NEWS, and I needed to fix that goodbye in my head. Then thought I could share it! I figured I might not be the only one screaming around the house about Destiel and wishing for a scene in which Dean and Cas talk about their feelings.
> 
> This was sort of inspired by some info the people who were attending that Con with Misha Collins last week were sharing. I believe he was worried now that Cas confessed his feelings, ace people who had related to Castiel before might feel bad. I don't know if that’s be the case. Cas could still be ace, I think. I believe Dean would reciprocate his feelings and be happy which however a closer relationship with Cas looked like, which is what I tried to convey. Along with Dean being actually confused about what Cas wanted from him. I hope that makes sense.
> 
> Anywhoo... I haven't quite caught up with the show yet, which you can probably tell by the lack of references to...things? I hope that doesn't prevent you from enjoying this. 
> 
> Kudos, and comments, and emojis are much appreciated. Thanks again!


End file.
